Blog Me Til Midnight

A New Saying...

2008-10-30T20:09:00.004-05:00

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Lately I have a new saying.

"Blame it on Crazy."

Why do I say that?

Because my youngest son,

will be having a board of doctors do an evaluation on him.

His behaviors are mind-numbing at times.

He lives to manipulate, it seems.

Which makes me crazy scared.

He has only recently turned 11.

When he does something, I always ask why?

He never has a different answer than, "I don't know why."

But he secretly does.

I always tell him,

he either has to take responsiblity for himself,

or blame it on crazy.

I know that it is harsh

I know he doesn't like to be labeled

No one does!

But for that split second,

He decides to take responsiblity.

Maybe one day he'll actually learn to live it.

I know he is young.

I know I'm not perfect.

But he is very aware of what is around him.

If someone else showed his behaviors, he would be shocked.

But not when he's doing them.

So lately, I find myself blaming it on crazy.

The world we live in today.

All the influences, seen and unseen.

All I can do is pray, listen intently, and learn from what I experience.

I hope my son learns to do the same.

I hope he is honest when he sits in front of these doctors.

Don't make them blame it on crazy too.

Don't make life harder than it is.

Find peace where ever you can and embrace it.

Do I want to go through this week?

NO!

But I need to know ...

*******

What Makes You Happy?

2008-10-13T14:09:00.003-05:00

*****

I need to think about what made me happy this week--I've been spending WAY too much time thinking about what hasn't made me happy.

I love the weather - leaves are turning red and gold.

Watching all the wildlife outside my bedroom window.

Going to my son's football game

Carving pumpkins for our front steps.

Knowing my birthday is coming up - but isn't sressed out about it.
(betcha can't guess how old I am)

A long 4 day weekend.

Being more aware of life and people around me.

Satisfied that I made the right choice on which school my kids should go too!
(even though I miss Homeschooling)

Snuggled in for the night with my famly roasting marshmellows in the backyard.

*****

Allow me to Introduce Myself!

2008-10-08T08:48:00.004-05:00

Hello Blog Me Til Midnight Readers!
My name is Kori and I am the owner/designer for Kori Clark Designs. I create all sorts of hand painted whimsical decor for nurseries, children's rooms, playrooms, and even offices!
Jillian contacted me recently about working with her to add some of these items to her upcoming website! I am so very excited to be a part of it all and I wanted to give a sneak peek of the products you will find on her website.

These photos are of my hand painted Prince and Princess Wooden Wall Letters! You may want to spell out your child's name, or the word "Prince" or "Princess" or "Royal".
I will also have a variety of fonts and sizes to choose from!

Please check back often to see what update Jillian has about this exciting new venture! I also will be adding in blogs here and there about the actual painting process I take and inspiration for my work!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSHUA!

Birthday!

2008-10-07T08:57:00.003-05:00

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Happy Birthday Joshua

I can't believe that little blonde peanut is 12 tomorrow.

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A Place To Rant!

2008-10-02T11:02:00.006-05:00

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A Letter to my Laundry:

Dear Laundry,

Quit multiplying every single time I turn off the light goshdarnit. I swear to God, last week I had you down to nothing...NOTHING! But this week there is a 6 foot (and growing) pile in my room, flowing like a cotton river out the door and into the hall.

Stop It! Just Stop It!

Thank You,
Jillian

What's your rant?

****

Mapped Out

2008-09-29T10:29:00.001-05:00

*****

I mapped out my life down to the smallest detail. I planned to
major in education, marry at 21 and have two kids (a boy & girl).

I'm so stubborn that it took me years to realize that I'm not
driving this car, no matter how well I outlined the map.

How did you map out your life? What surprised you the most?

*****

Picture of the Day!

2008-09-26T18:09:00.002-05:00

Email.

2008-09-17T07:26:00.000-05:00

Dear Jillian,

Two photos of the star I am mailing to you for your Holocaust star memorial are attached.

The star is a small mosaic made of tiny items such as toys, shells, tile, pottery, coral, seed, brick, stone and beads.

The different items represent various aspects of a person's life and family. Art is about the observer, so I anticipate those who see the star will enrich my own initial ideas with their own interpretations of the meaning of each item in the mosaic.

Prominent in the center of the star is a piece of heart shaped coral, painted gold. The Holocaust destroyed many "hearts of gold" that would have enriched our world. I am a Floridian and have friends here with families lost to the Holocaust; thus, coral from a local beach seemed the right material for this heart. A small shell on the mosaic is also in their honor.

Just above the heart is a small mirror in a flower shaped frame. This is a reminder that with different time and birth circumstances the Holocaust could have victimized anyone.

The small faces on the star are a reminder that each person in the Holocaust was part of a family, and many entire families were destroyed and/or damaged. A small plastic chain of hearts represents the impact of each person lost on loved ones and others, both immediately and to future generations of their families and friends.

There is a small house from a Monopoly game and a piece of brick. Victims were driven from their homes, and their property was confiscated. Other items in the mosaic, such as a bead with a picture of a cat, flowers, and small pottery and tile, represent aspects of family life destroyed. The small teddy bears represent the children lost.

A small pearl is both a reminder of mothers and daughters lost, who may have worn pearls, and the hope that "pearls of wisdom" have resulted in the lessons of this tragic time in history. A clear yellow stone represents the light of a human spirit snuffed out.

A seed, planted just under the center heart, butterflies and a dragonfly, are also inclusions that portray a hope that the lessons of the Holocaust result in the growth of a higher conscious and positive actions by future generations of humanity and its leaders.

A small apple on the mosaic could have various interpretations. I included it to represent education, as in "an apple for the teacher." Many highly educated and intelligent people, who would have enhanced our world, were lost to the Holocaust. In addition, education in the present and future, such as the knowledge you are instilling in your sons, will create a kinder and wiser future.

The anchor represents the importance of the lessons of the Holocaust to our present and future generations, as well as the grandparents, parents, and leaders lost, who were anchors for their families and communities

The small coral circle has many potential meanings, including that we share one world, and are all inter-related, regardless of our race or religion. What damages one, ultimately hurts all.

Finally, the word "friend" spelled out with a question mark, asks a question forever to be unanswered: If the Holocaust had never been, would those who were lost, or their children and unborn grandchildren have been our friends and loved ones?

As I have a family member who is married to someone who lost family to the Holocaust, for me, probably yes. The words, "love" and "peace" are aspirations for our present and future.

All the best. Ella Chabot-Remington, Sebastian, Florida

A Late Drizzle.

2008-09-14T22:00:00.004-05:00

It seems that early fall has arrived with fog, drizzle and murky weather all around. But here inside all is cozy, warm and fluffy.

Click To Enlarge.

So bring on the rain!

******

Football

2008-09-03T09:17:00.008-05:00

My two boys are bottom row to the right. I must admit that I'm so excited about the new school year. A new routine, and some quiet time for me.

*****

What A Face!

2008-07-24T21:44:00.001-05:00

Prison Letter...

2008-07-14T20:29:00.002-05:00

Click To Enlarge

*****

Painting

2008-07-09T17:19:00.005-05:00

Click to Enlarge.
Holocaust Painting

*******

The Fourth

2008-07-05T13:08:00.008-05:00

Hope everyone had a great Fourth of July.

We invited a new couple we met out for a barbecue on the Fourth. We had a lovely time. Even though I didn't get to take my usual photos of our fireworks. The best part of our fireworks is that we live on a hill so the whole city of Winona can see our splashes of color in the sky. We also get to see their display from where we are and all around us. This year was really beautiful, I think everyone joined in. The hills along side us were basking in color, it looked like it was all apart of the warm hues that settled in the sky that evening.

We are also excited to say that we are going to have puppies! Our female chocolate lab is about 2 weeks pregnant.

Here are some pictures. Click Pictures To Enlarge.

The Daddy.

The Mama.

****

This book is beautiful.

2008-06-25T09:32:00.001-05:00

Someone sent me this book along with their star yesterday! It's such a touching book.

Thank you :)

Bejeweled - Wordless Wednesday

2008-06-18T11:10:00.001-05:00

Student

2008-06-11T14:00:00.000-05:00

Click to Enlarge.

*****

Confused Mom...

2008-06-11T11:03:00.014-05:00

Updated!

We went to a doctor that specializes in Behavioral Health issues in children. This was our first visit. The doctor talked to my son for about 45 minutes and told me we'll start by putting him on a certain medicine for ADHD. He started that medicine and then to my surprise it was like looking at a brand new child I didn't even recognise. It was a beautiful change, a very welcomed one.

My son's behavior drastically changed back after the 4 days of bliss. I'm not sure if there is a honeymoon stage when on medicine, but if there is, it's officially over. He is back to playing games, sitting for 90 minutes wasting time on answering the most simplest question, as in "Why didn't you put your shoes on?"

Now in the doctors office he can answer in about 2 minutes, no games. Even if the question is more of a critical thinking one, "What is the worst moment in your life?" Now for me, that would be more difficult than the other one.

The social worker will ask him a simple question too, like, "What are some fun things you like to do?" She sat there waiting for an answer for 45 minutes. Most kids you would think would be able to rattle things off. That is so scary to see your child unable to express himself.

We have had a in-home counselor for the last two months, she is leaving us at the end of this week. The full time that she has been with us, my youngest son hasn't given her eye contact at all and sits there quietly. Until a subject that he likes comes into the picture, then it's like a light switch went on, he's bright and alert!

I thought when it came time to saying goodbye to our in-home counselor that are family would be a little more happy and adjusting to his new diagnoses. I thought that I wouldn't have the feeling of panic in letting her go. We could always extend the time with her, but is it really going to make a difference?

Everyone is so baffled by his behavior.

I hate to say that I've wasted my life. I am definately not where I thought I would be. I know I am a better person for him/my son, but at a cost. I know my youth has slipped away and I do feel cheated. I have my good days and my not-so-good days. I keep in mind that his world is worse that mine. That is a big, scary world he deals with on a daily basis and it causes him an awful lot of anxiety. He can't make sense of the world and he didn't ask to be born that way. So I'm trying to help as much as I can. I'm trying to not be selfish, to give all of me. I don't expect him to give back, I just wish he could answer me without getting locked inside his own mind. We have asked the doctor if it was Aspergers Syndrome and he discounted it. We might have to find another doctor!

There still is an evaluation coming up in October. It'll cover everything more intensely with my son, so hopefully that will be the answer. It just feels like it is so far away.

I just don't believe it is ADHD, but the doctor wants to rule it out first. Sometimes I believe it is him doing it on purpose. Some days I don't know what to think. Other days I blame myself. I guess all parents go through this at one time or another. Something that never changes is my love for him, we'll get through this.

I know what I have written doesn't seem that bad. I wish I could explain it better. Maybe after we find the diagnosies I can.

Thank you for being there,
Jillian

Each One Unique...

2008-06-09T18:20:00.000-05:00

Click to Enlarge.

..........

Taking A Chance...

2008-06-07T21:36:00.006-05:00

I took a chance this evening in writing a few emails to a couple of my all time favorite illustrators.

I wasn't expecting them to return the email, nor contribute a star for my project.

But that is exactly what is going to happen. She felt honored and will be doing a star.

I'm so grateful, her illustrations actually transcends me into bliss. :)

I won't disclose who she is yet.

********

Small Spirits.

2008-06-06T16:24:00.000-05:00

Click to Enlarge.

Remembering You!

2008-06-06T15:50:00.007-05:00

If you have participated in our Holocaust Star Project, I would like for you to add your name on this post, so that my boys can see how many people have opened their hearts to us.

Email to be proud of...

2008-06-03T22:15:00.001-05:00

Hello Ms. Curtis,

My name is Marla Hanley and I am an English teacher at Melrose-Mindoro High School in Melrose, WI. I read your article about "A Stellar Effort" one Sunday afternoon. At the time I had just begun teaching a unit on the Holocaust to my sophomore English students. Upon reading your article, I came up with what I thought would be an excellent idea for teaching both your sons and my students that the Holocaust was not just about six million lives , but about "singular" lives, six million singular lives.

My assignment was for my students to design a star that would reflect their understanding of the Holocaust. They would then present their star and an explanation to the class. We would then send the stars to your sons.

I cannot tell you the effect the stars had as they lined the chalkboard of my room or the impact of the ideas my students expressed as they expalined why they chose the material, poems, quotes, symbols...

This assignment was one of those that I believe really taught the students something.
I have the stars and pictures of my students that I would like to send to you and your sons. Please send me your address so that I may do so.

Sincerely, Marla Hanley

Hauntingly Beautiful Star!

2008-06-02T14:16:00.002-05:00

This Star was contributed by Eric Orchard.

Thank you Eric.

My Pal

2008-05-31T19:16:00.005-05:00

This dog is the funniest, he would rather have sticks than a ball. Which works out perfectly since my two other dogs would rather have a ball. He runs like a horse, acts like a 10 pd lap dog. Has the greatest facial expressions. He won't leave my side, he even lies outside the bathroom door waiting for my shower to be over. He whines more than my kids, but from him I think it's sweet. LOL